Failwolf
by daniel.murphy82
Summary: Derek manages to irritate a witch who curses him with bad luck. (Partially inspired by Supernatural episode 3x03 - Bad Day at Black Rock) Rated M for safety


**WARNINGS: CONTAINS M/M SLASH**

Summary: Derek manages to irritate a witch who curses him with bad luck. (Partially inspired by Supernatural episode 3x03 - Bad Day at Black Rock)

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf - merely bend them to my will.

Rubbing his head, Derek sat up and looked around trying to remember what happened. Coming up blank, he decided to head back to the loft and get comfortable. Standing up he looked around reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.  
Great, must have landed on it and cracked the screen. He thought miserably. Looking around, he realised he had no idea where he was so tuned his hearing for the sound of cars. Picking a direction he headed off in that direction.  
Arriving at the road, he looked around for something to indicate where he was and sighed, realising he had nothing in sight so picked a direction and started walking.

An hour and a half later, he finally found a smaller dinner and gas station where he walked inside and was glared at by the woman behind the counter.

"Make it quick, we're about 10 minutes from closing up."

"I was hoping you could point me in the direction of Beacon Hills?" He asked.

"Sure, two hours that way." She said pointing back in the direction that he'd come. Derek hung his head, now more unimpressed than he was before. Sighing, he ordered a coffee to go and pulled out his phone.

"Stiles?... Yeah, I need a hand... I'm at a diner about two hours out of Beacon Hills... no, I'm not sure which direction... yes, the GPS in my phone is on... wait, since when can you access my location from my phone?... Danny and I are going to have to have words... yeah, see you soon."  
He looked up as the waitress put the coffee in front of him. He paid and realised she wanted him to wait outside. Sighing, he walked out and heard the door lock behind him. He looked upwards as the lights turned off in the diner behind him, just as there was a clap of thunder and rain started to fall. Derek hung his head and pulled his jacket tight around him and waited for his ride.

_STEREK_

Just over two hours later, he looked up as he heard Stiles pull up in the jeep. Derek sighed, and walked over to the car only to have stand in a piece of gum. Derek sighed and felt his shoulders slump a bit further. Opening the car door, he looked at Stiles who was handing him a bag.  
"I would have been here sooner but I stopped at the loft and got you a fresh shirt and pair of jeans." He explained. Derek nodded and took the bag handed to him. Dereked started to undo his jeans and pull them down to which Stiles put up his hand.

"Nooooo... no, no, nooo. I don't want things waving in my face. I'll be too distracted to drive... turn around if you're going to do that." Derek sighed and turned around went to pull them off before the tree above him shook with a gust of wind and dropped all the water that was in the leaves on top of Derek's head. He heard of snort of laughter behid him. He turned and glared at Stiles who he saw was offering him a towel. Snatching the towel, he dried his hair and pulled his jacket off before pulling his shirt off as well.

"Derek, wait." Stiles said, causing the older man to freeze.

"What is it?"

"Your triskelion, it normally goes clockwise right?" He asked. Derek nodded his head, unsure of where this was going.

"Well, something's happened and it's now going counter-clockwise." Stiles told him. Derek tried to peer over his own shoulder and only succeeded in spinning around and looking like a dog chasing it's tail until he lost balance and ended up sitting on the ground.

"You're unusually clumsy tonight. Is everything alright?" Stiles asked leaning over to look at the ground through the open passenger side door. Derek looked up and then shook his head and recounted the events of the evening, including how he walked an hour and a half in the wrong direction. Stiles shook his head.

"That isn't right. You have one of the best senses of direction of anyone that I know." Stiles told him and pulled out his phone.

"Hey Deaton, it's Stiles... yes, I know what time it is... it's Derek... he's not hurt as such but there's definitely something wrong... yeah, his triskelion is backwards and he's had nothing but bad luck." Stiles told the vet, glancing at Derek who was trying to use the gutter to get the gum off the bottom of his shoe.

"Yeah, we're probably two and half hours away... ok, see you then." Stiles said hanging up the phone. Turning around he saw that Derek was standing uselessly beside a storm drain looking down. He looked up and slumped his shoulders, defeated.

"I lost my shoe."

_STEREK_

Looking at Derek sitting there sullenly, Stiles tried to make him feel a bit better.

"Of come on, Sourwolf. We'll sort it out and hey, you had good luck that you called when you did, I was about to go to bed." He tried. Derek looked at him morosely.

"If you'd called one of the others, they wouldn't have gone to get you dry clothes now would they." Stiles tried again. Derek cocked his head to the side and nodded slightly. Reaching over Derek, turned on the radio to provide some music to tune out the sound of Stiles' rambling.

_Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof._

Stiles started laughing at the song that started playing. Derek just shook his head miserably as the chorus got stuck in his head.

_STEREK_

Pulling up at Deaton's later, Stiles switched off the car and looked at Derek and reached over to unbuckle Derek's seat belt which earned him a scowl. Removing his hand, he shook his head and went inside the clinic to see if someone could help Derek.

Walking in, he found Scott sitting on one of the operating tables waiting for him. Deaton emerged from his office and looked around.

"You're half an hour late, Mr Stilinski. Where's Derek? The man asked.

"Hey! I texted to let you know. As for Derek... well, there was an accident. I was tired because by the time Derek called me, it was closer to midnight than eleven and from there it was a two hour drive to pick him and then coming back, I thought it'd only take two..."

"Stiles!" Deaton snapped.

"What? I was getting there. Anyways, by half past three, I was getting tired so I pulled into a gas station to go buy a red bull or something to help keep me awake while I drove. Derek came in with me and managed to knock over a chip display which made him jump backwards into a coke display which he proceeded to fall over only to have a lady try and help him keep his balance but instead of grabbing her arms like he should have he grabbed her titts so she slapped him across the face which basically spun him around and made him faceplant into a fridge door." By the time he finished telling the story, Scott was laughing and Deaton just looked more confused.

"So where is Derek now, Mr Stilinski?" He asked.

"That's part of why I'm late. The gas station guy wouldn't let me buy my drink and threw us out so at the next store I went into alone and made him stay in the car. I also may have bought some precautions and now I can't actually get him out of the car so I came to see if I could get a hand?" Stiles asked. Curious, Deaton followed Scott and Stiles out to the car and blinked. Sitting there scowling at them through the windscreen Derek... bubble wrapped to the car seat. Scott was doubled over leaning against the car laughing. Stiles stood there looking oddly proud of his handiwork.  
Opening the car door, Scott looked at the former alpha and unbuckled the seat belt. He then popped out his claws and carefully cut through the bubble wrap, making sure he didn't cut the other man.  
Once free, Derek gingerly stepped out of the car and stretched and arms and legs which were sore after being bound for so long.

"One word and I'll rip your throat out..." Derek began.

"With your teeth." Both Scott and Stiles chorused together. Growling, Derek stalked over to the door to the clinic and went to fling it open with all his might only to have the door handle come off and fling up smacking Derek in the forehead and send him a few steps backwards. Deaton looked down and tried not to laugh. Scott opened the door and waved the others through.

Approaching the counter, Deaton stepped through followed by Stiles, Scott and finally Derek. Unfortunately, he thought Derek was further behind the counter than he was and let go of the gate to let it swing shut, catching Derek in the middle and sending him sprawling on the ground. Deaton had the good sense to look sheepish as he apologised.

_STEREK_

Finally inside and seated with everything out of harms way, Derek removed his shirt and Deaton looked at the reversed triskelion tattoo.

"The reversal of the triskelion on your back is regression. Normally it goes clockwise which means moving forwards and considered good luck. The fact that it's counter-clockwise is a sign of bad luck. Derek, what do you remember from earlier?"

"I remember hearing Isaac and Scott getting to the loft, Stiles coming in and triping on the rug. There was a fight about workplace safety. I got a headache and left, ended up at a bar. Some woman sat down and started talking to me. I may or may not have grumbled about being surrounded by teenagers and how they seemed to bring bad luck with them and their unco-ordinated behaviour." Everyone stopped and looked at Stiles who blinked in return.

"She told me that it sounds like I was lucky to have people around me who want to be around me because they don't have to. I told her no, it was bad luck when one of them is the sheriff's son and we have to hide our... never mind."

"You mean where you think you have to hide your relationship?" Scott asked. Both Stiles and Derek's jaw dropped at the smirking Scott who tapped the side of his nose.

"I can barely tell you both apart by scent any more." Stiles blushed and Derek grinned.

"Back to the story." Deaton interrupted.

"She said that it's not bad luck, it's just timing which needs some work. I told her I was convinced it was bad luck. She said this phrase fortuna something..."

"Derek, you need to think carefully. What were the exact words?" Deaton asked.

"Um, fortuna and cognosc.. cognoscend... cognoscendam verita... um," Derek tried.

"You mean _fortuna ad congoscendam veritatem experientiae_?" Deaton asked to Derek who quickly nodded his head.

"It means experience bad luck to know the truth." Came a voice from behind them. They all turned around.

"You!" Derek growled.

"Me!" The woman smirked. Derek launched himself at her only to hit his head on the mountain ash barrier that stood between them before falling backwards.

"Idiot, you probably just gave yourself a concussion." Stiles scolded as he ran over to the fallen werewolf and helped him to his feet.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Deaton demanded.

"My name is Bonnie. I wanted to see if Derek had realised that his whining was nothing more than a lovesick puppy who was worried his mate was hurt after a fall." She said.

"Mate?" Stiles asked quietly.

"Later." Derek promised.

"So you cursed him with bad luck?" Scott asked.

"You call it curse, I call it turning on a light bulb for him to see the truth of what real bad luck is." Bonnie countered.

"He's more likely to electrocute himself by flipping on a switch at the moment."

"So what's the counter-curse?" Deaton asked.

"Oh, he just has to have some good luck from what he was perceiving to be bad luck. I'm sure his mate can help with that." She told them smirking.

"So basically Derek has to get lucky to break the curse?" Scott asked curiously.

"There's no luck in that, it's a sure thing." Stiles commented before realising what he had said and blushed. Grabbing Derek by the hand Stiles helped him to his feet.

"Come on, Failwolf. Let's go break a curse." Stiles said winking at Derek who blushed.

_STEREK_

To: Stiles  
So, how'd it go?

From: Stiles  
In what can only be described as an epileptic fit of passion, we broke the bed :)

To: Stiles  
So the curse is broken?

From: Stiles  
Well after he tripped over the same rug that I did, no irony there, and fell up the stairs twice, we made it to the bedroom where he tripped over taking off his jeans and crashed into the bedside table which knocked over the lamp and a glass of water which shorted out the power to the entire loft. I helped him with his shirt and pushed him backwards onto the bed and we started to go for it. Halfway through he put his hands on the headboard and used too much werewolf strength and pulled the thing forwards on to us which made us lose balance and his legs shot out kicking the foot of the bed off and across the room.

To: Stiles  
Failwolf.

From: Stiles  
I couldn't stop laughing. Ruined the mood apparently.

To: Stiles  
So he's still cursed?

From: Stiles  
No. It only took me 10 minutes to get him back in the mood. We broke the curse. Twice.

To: Stiles  
TMI. So you're sleeping today?

From: Stiles  
No. He's out buying a new bed while I dispose of the rug.

To: Stiles  
Dispose?

From: Stiles  
I've already tipped holy water over it and now I've got salt on it and I'm going to burn it.

To: Stiles  
So... mate?

From: Stiles  
He's also buying a ring. Oh yeah, need an Alpha to officiate the ceremony.

To: Stiles  
Hello...

From: Stiles  
Oh yeah... I guess I'll just have to ask Jackson to be best man then...

To: Stiles  
I know an alpha two packs over, I can make a call.

From: Stiles  
Good boy. Derek's back. Need to make sure the curse is broken again... laters.


End file.
